Along with the pollen, love is definitely in the air this spring. Apparently so is sex. The
President’s Secret Service’s advance team for his visit to Columbia scheduled a little extracurricular activity before the boss arrived. They claim they didn’t know the girls were prostitutes when they arranged for them to gather at the hotel where they had arranged accommodations for thirty. Really? The public has been assured their indiscretions did not present a national security risk by revealing any government secrets during pillow talk, nor was there a risk of terrorism (unless you count when their wives found out). About the only thing the prostitutes walked away with were the agents’ jobs and reputations.

The Chef here is promoting his own spring love fest by setting up a Speed Dating night in the lobby/bar. I guess it's sort of like musical chairs. I hope it turns out better than the commercial. No, I will not be attending, but I would like to be a fly on the wall. Based on previous attendance for social functions, I wonder if it’ll be attracting the usual 20 something crowd… and one ‘hoping to get lucky’,geezer. The Chef’s other plan to increase business involves a girl’s night out. In case things get too hot, the hotel’s booked a firemen’s convention.

We’re supposed to broaden our horizons for new food flavors now. Someone has created
peanut butter and jelly vodka. Then there’s BLT potato chips, and the quintessential bacon milkshake. Are you noticing the food groups targeted here? If you ask me, it’s just another market ploy to keep Americans eating unhealthy and staying fat. Okay, here’s my contribution: avocado ice cream, winter squash bagels, and shrimp scampi cookies. 

Yesterday, ONTORICHMOND.COM took out a full page ad in the newspaper announcing that the U.S. Navy had made its first and last attempt to take Richmond by water,
(otherwise known as the Battle of Drewry’s Bluff). The bloody battle lasted a week with Union forces failing to take the Confederate Capital. It’s been a hundred and fifty years for God’s sake; let it go. You still lost. Get over it.

I must be a magnet for men behaving badly this week, either that, or someone in the room
over me suffers from testosterone poisoning. This guest frequently requests the same room because he likes to be on the highest floor. I always know when he’s back because he uses something to exercise with in his room that makes a duh-da-da-dah dropping sound. At any given hour the sound is annoying, but when he starts exercising late at night or very early in the morning when I’m asleep, I find it rude, inconsiderate and thoughtless. I might understand if he claimed ignorance that his exercise regimen was loud enough to be heard in other rooms. But, after being told several times by the hotel that he was annoying other guests and then to continue doing it out of spite, well that just speaks to an immature and elitist attitude that all too frequently is the result of an
over-indulged ego fostered by corporate perks. Why is it considered politically incorrect to expect consideration from other people today? When did it become acceptable for everyone to make up their own rules? He can use the gym like everyone else. Better yet, ask to be on a floor where no one is under you. 

I read with interest today an article in the paper about quiet cars on commuter trains
becoming more and more available. It seems passengers forced to listen to the racket caused by too many people using their cell phones have finally said, “Enough”! No one wants to listen to someone’s one-sided conversation, especially when you’re tired and just want to ride in peace and quiet. That’s how it used to be. Remember? You looked forward to a guaranteed oasis from the stresses of the day by unwinding on the trip. It’s no wonder why attention deficit disorder is increasing. Who can focus on anything when you’re constantly being bombarded with conversations and general noise coming at you from every direction? It’s probably altered our brain waves. The article went on to say that all you hear is “shhh” in these commuter quiet cars. People are working on their laptops or reading and don’t take kindly to people who don’t follow the rules. Sometimes a conductor has to step in. For those people who still require constant stimulation, they continue to provide regular cars where you can all drive each other nuts. The sad thing is the people who need the presence of four other talkers around them to communicate with as they work actually believe they’re in the majority. Guess again. The world does not revolve around you. 

Speaking of communications, are you aware that legislation is being passed, or in
consideration of being passed in various states, to allow phone companies to stop servicing land lines? The phone company lobbyists are spreading their money and influence during an election year to convince legislators that if they could just stop servicing those pesky little land lines, saying they could invest more into technologies that customers are demanding. What they don’t admit to is that they've already been investing in new technologies, and that the rest of the population is not demanding anything. They’re happy with their phone service, or else they can’t afford a wireless service with costly bells and whistles. There are currently only about a third of all households in the U.S. that are wireless. You’d have to be unconscious to not realize that of course phone companies want the other two thirds of the population to buy wireless phones because then they’d make even more money by forcing a constant change of phone technology on consumers. And, we’d have even more noisy and intrusive conversations going on around us to contend with. Just think how many more car accidents we can look forward to when the entire culture is wireless. What do they expect rural customers to do, or grandma and grandpa who can’t physically use a cell phone? I wonder how many new models of cell phones come out each month. There is no end in sight, but at some point consumers are going to be in so much debt trying to keep up with technology that they’re going to say, “Enough!”

I have not forgotten you. I've been sequestered in my room, because things here have been sort of… dead. I don’t mean we have no guests; hardly. We stay full most of the time. I’m referring to the companionship I formerly enjoyed from those who work here. Some employees have moved on finding better paying jobs elsewhere.  Even though Confidante was promoted, his schedule has changed. Gone are the days when we’d alternate beating the socks off each other. I can’t even remember the last time I played pool, let alone beat him... at pool, that is. But alas, I digress.

Now that I think of it, there’s been a lot going on at the hotel lately. Unfortunately, it’s all happening outside, under my window. Construction activity gets started at 6:30-7 a.m. for the remaining retail spaces due to open this spring. The fact that there are actually people
who pay to sleep in a hotel doesn’t appear to be relevant. Tearing up the sidewalk with jack-hammers is a little much at that hour of the morning, if you ask me. Which no one has, but that’s beside the point. I’m sure whoever invented that utterly annoying alarm on trucks that beeps incessantly, had not intended it be used below a hotel early in the morning when there clearly is no one around whose presence might signal the need to use it. The loud clap from lumber being thrown onto the sidewalk from a truck at 6:20 a.m. apparently does not count as beginning work before 7 a.m., either. Are you kidding me? The deal was no work before 8 a.m., and even that was a concession. The hotel asked for work not to begin before 9. 
                 
For those of you who don’t already know, I’m getting close to publishing my novel. It’s a mystery/thriller called The Hour to Reap. I’ve been busy starting a publishing company and all the paperwork and legal mumbo jumbo that goes along with that. It’s been frustrating. I am still calm; bald, but calm.  I am thankful that one of my friends took pity on me and offered to help with the graphics for the bookcover. Thank God, or I would have been up the creek. I will keep you posted when it hits the shelves; hopefully in the next few weeks.

Thank God I still have the media to provide me with fodder for material. I read an article
stating that pregnancy increased a woman’s risk for heart attack. They didn’t say whether this was before or after they unexpectedly found out they were pregnant. I have refused to follow the GOP’s nomination for a candidate in this year’s election debacle. They have all made such asses of themselves they run the risk of being confused with the democrats’ mascot. 

Just when I think I’ve got nothing worthy of my reader’s attention, I am gifted with a truly
interesting weekend at the hotel. I know folks are going to wonder if I got any of the murderous ideas for my book after living in a hotel for two years. (You’ll just have to wait until you read it.) Anyway, we still have the usual loud, one-nighters if you catch my drift, of which I’ve become bored with paying any attention to. But, having someone deliberately flood a room with water sort of tops two years worth of some pretty unbelievable stuff. Magazines were placed in a sink and the water left on. Needless to say, the damage made it down three flights. By an act of grace, my room which was next to its path was spared. This is considered a misdemeanor in case it gives any more morons an idea of their
own. What kind of stupid do you have to be to act this way? Just be thankful I don’t own this hotel.

To round off my weekend, I was once again reminded of the complete lack of responsibility assumed for one’s children that is exhibited by far too many parents who stay here. I tried to save a four year old child from cracking his jaw open by gently removing a cue stick from between his legs which he was riding like a hobby horse through the lobby and up the stairs. His father was occupied at the bar not moving a muscle to discipline or watch his kids, which I might add, continued even after the bartender's multiple requests to remove them froman area where no one under 21 was allowed. I guess some people make up their own rules. Instead of thanking me for my quick intervention, he later cornered me unexpectedly announcing he was waiting for the appropriate time to get me. Literally poking his finger in my face, he told me to never discipline his kid again. Have another drink, asshole.