It took me two days to catch up on the sleep I lost from Friday night’s misadventures in the room with the loud speaker wall. How I made it through a three hour training session at church on Sunday afternoon was beyond me. I dragged myself through the evening trying to hold a conversation with Confidante and then…it hit him like a dense fog, slowly overtaking him, and then Pow! He was sick as a dog. I come to find out folks have been dropping like flies from something like the flu. Eeuw, germs. Out came the disinfectant wipes. Everything on the desk: phones, mouses, keyboards, etc. got wiped down. I would have wiped down Confidante too, but he would have head butted me. For a change Mr. NyQuill had to take NyQuill. Poor thing never made it into work this morning. For him to miss work, he had to be really sick.
You know, it’s a good thing men don’t have babies. Squid and I were talking about this very thing. There’s no way in hell they’d put up with morning sickness, hormone changes that turn you into a crazy person, strange cravings, or the fact that you have this bowling ball attached to your insides that gradually increases in size and weight, and you have no choice but to haul it around for forty weeks. If men invented pregnancy the human gestation period would have been designed to match the length of the football season, since they’re on their butts anyway. And, then there’s labor. Let’s see how they hold
up under contractions that feel like your insides are being pulled out. Delivery? Try imagining pushing a head out of your… No, God certainly knew what He was doing when He gave the job to a woman. Mrs. Squid had her first ultrasound on Friday. Squid is going to bring it in to show me. He’s so excited.
I probably should carve out more time for getting on Facebook, Twitter and to read my email, in addition to my blog and writing a book all day. I probably should clone myself too, because I have no idea how other people manage to devote so much time to socializing on the internet. Don’t you people work? Well, today I got on Facebook and there was a posting from a friend about how Facebook is going to start charging by the month, and if you already had an existing account and responded before midnight tonight, you wouldn’t have to pay like a new subscriber. Dumb ass me fell for it, but only because I trusted the person who posted it; another gullible soul. Had on logged on a day earlier, I would have seen other posts laughing about it.
Today I perused the online sites for Barnes and Noble and Amazon to check out children’s books and toys for one year olds. Good grief. I was shocked at the paucity of classic titles for kids at Barnes and Noble. Amazon had more, but nowhere near what I was expecting. And, educational toys? I guess we’ve given the Chinese control over the dumbing down of America. ‘Tis a sad day.
You know, it’s a good thing men don’t have babies. Squid and I were talking about this very thing. There’s no way in hell they’d put up with morning sickness, hormone changes that turn you into a crazy person, strange cravings, or the fact that you have this bowling ball attached to your insides that gradually increases in size and weight, and you have no choice but to haul it around for forty weeks. If men invented pregnancy the human gestation period would have been designed to match the length of the football season, since they’re on their butts anyway. And, then there’s labor. Let’s see how they hold
up under contractions that feel like your insides are being pulled out. Delivery? Try imagining pushing a head out of your… No, God certainly knew what He was doing when He gave the job to a woman. Mrs. Squid had her first ultrasound on Friday. Squid is going to bring it in to show me. He’s so excited.
I probably should carve out more time for getting on Facebook, Twitter and to read my email, in addition to my blog and writing a book all day. I probably should clone myself too, because I have no idea how other people manage to devote so much time to socializing on the internet. Don’t you people work? Well, today I got on Facebook and there was a posting from a friend about how Facebook is going to start charging by the month, and if you already had an existing account and responded before midnight tonight, you wouldn’t have to pay like a new subscriber. Dumb ass me fell for it, but only because I trusted the person who posted it; another gullible soul. Had on logged on a day earlier, I would have seen other posts laughing about it.
Today I perused the online sites for Barnes and Noble and Amazon to check out children’s books and toys for one year olds. Good grief. I was shocked at the paucity of classic titles for kids at Barnes and Noble. Amazon had more, but nowhere near what I was expecting. And, educational toys? I guess we’ve given the Chinese control over the dumbing down of America. ‘Tis a sad day.